Holy "Maundy" Thursday

        Today is Holy Thursday and I am stuck at school until late tonight and might end up missing Mass. Growing up looked like so much more fun when I was six. Limousines and fancy dresses and big tall heels and fancy hair and make-up. Ya, growing up held much more appeal when I was six then it does today. Today growing up means working and missing important events because I absolutely cannot miss class and T-Shirt, jeans, boots, and messy hair days. It means that money does not grow on a tree and it must be earned because I need gas for my vehicle this week, but I also need food.
       It means that yes, I am going to miss Mass and I am just going to have to spend some time in adoration, that seems to be where God thinks I need to be tonight so I will be there. It means all of the above and then some. It means learning to trust again, to trust completely and totally like a child. To let God have the reigns and like the apostles tonight when they begin to realize that something is going to happen and it is not what they want to happen. And they have to trust that is all going according to plan.
       That tomorrow is going to be harder than anything they have ever had to deal with but it is all apart of the plan. That it is not going to be okay but it is a part of that great big master plan.
       Tonight we kick off the Paschal Triduum and slowly allow ourselves to come into the solemnity and solitude of Good Friday. Here's to Holy Thursday and quiet. Quiet to begin to contemplate the greatest sacrifice in the world.
I pray for everyone especially during the next few days as we enter into the greatest and most awesome (in every sense of both words) time of the year, the Paschal Triduum.


Peace,
Arwen

Tuesday

I'm taking a break from English, I've been writing for a solid hour now and have three whole pages to show for it, I was supposed to have seven done for today. I technically have five right now but I am in the process of revising them so I am counting them as three. It is going to be a very long week but on the plus side I finally obtained a job to work through this summer with. I am currently working three jobs but two of them end at the end of the school year so I looked for one so I could make money during the summer, and I actually got it!
I am a little excited, I get to work with shoes. I kind of love fashion.
Moving on, this week, like a said previously, is going to be very long. It's almost Easter. He is almost here. Yep, Him, the One, the great I Am is almost here. Kind of exciting to think about. To think about Him rising from the dead. There is a great deal of hope in that. He is rising from the dead, we will rise to be with Him. So much unbelievable hope.
Yay! Finally at four pages, now three more for today, ugh.
Okay, it has now been two hours.
And I have a new poem for you guys. I actually have two or three but because you have been incredible and reading through my rambling I'll only give you one so you do not have to read anymore and write up the other one's later.

Here at the end of the road,
There are dragons, and goblins, and ghouls.
And a lone little creature,
With the unlikeliest features,
Who hollers and yowls and sobs.
Here at the end of the road,
There's a maiden who looks like a toad.
Her parents mourn her features,
But the maid just picks up the creature,
And sings him a sad little song.
Here at the end of the road,
The song takes them all back home.
Where the maiden's a princess,
And the creature's a prince,
And together they happily live.
Here at the end of the road,
There are dragons,
And a soft little sob,
For a friend and a creature,
Has lost all their features,
And together they whisper goodnight.
Here at the end of the road,
There is a kiss, a love, a life.
And together they leave,
Singing a song in the eve,
Of a lonely maid and a frog.
Here at the end of the road,
There's a soft farewell and goodbye.
As a new young maiden
Holds a father and mother
and silently watches them die.
There at the end of the road.
A small family stands.
And quietly whispers a prayer,
For their loved ones
And watches them say goodbye.
Generations move forward,
And the group slowly forgets,
Why the end of the road is so loved.
Years later,
As the stars look down,
There will be someone to welcome the sun.
But a lonely small creature
will look up at the sun
Here at the end of the road
And sing it a sad little song.

ciao 4 now,
Arwen

P.S. Yes, this poem was composed in Biology.

Holy Week...

Is one of the hardest weeks of the year for me spiritually. 40 days is hard but that last bit, at the very end. Where you almost have to squint to see the finish line, it is right there and if you just reach hard enough, you could even touch it. Victory is within your grasp, but not until Holy Saturday at midnight. When the Holy Week turns into Easter. That joyful season, not day, where we get to celebrate and rejoice in our Lord.

And it's so close. Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday. This year I feel like a kid again, getting excited and just wanting the day to come faster. I want to be able to celebrate, to sing songs with gusto and joy. Solemnity and seriousness has never come easy to me. Lent, is always a trying part of the liturgical year. That being said perhaps I need to focus more on it but how can anyone when the end is so wonderful?

To quote Samwise Gamgee:

 Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for. (imdb.com)

There's a new understanding every year as I mature of just what Holy Week is, and this year during the passion I cried a little. I cried listening to the passion of our Lord, I've never cried before. Holy Thursday and Holy Saturday are going to be a little different, in growing up I have a job now where I will need to work. So, I will have to find a way to remember these days in the quiet of my workplace. To remember what happened and who was there and best I can by myself and the Lord in prayer. And then Easter will come when it does and we can all celebrate it. It will be a great occasion and I will get to spend some time with the family. But until then, Good Holy Week. Because it is a good week, and a blessed day.

ciao 4 now,

Arwen

Today, and tomorrow, and everyday, ordinary, things.

In the Biology classroom there is a dark periwinkle on the walls.

It's the kind that reminds me of a dark, stormy day or an old Englishman's sweater. It is only on one wall, the other three walls are a tanish color. Right around the chalkboard, that is on the blue wall, there are spots where the blue has not completely covered the wall.

It looks like someone took the chalkboard eraser and went over the wall a few to many times with chalk.

ciao 4 now,

Arwen