Just some quiet ramblings tonight, I have been up waaaay to late these past few days and have been feeling the effects. Tiredness drowsiness and all that jazz. This lent has been trying in every way and I feel like I see more and more of my shortcomings. I do not want to work anymore, my classes are overwhelming and I can feel myself giving up, feel myself begging myself to STOP. To walk away while I am ahead. And yet, I still tell myself, NO. I want to finish this, I want to finish this so badly. To get to look back someday on this and smile and say that I finally did this. That I finished. It just hurts. It is painful. The work that goes into living day by day. Staying awake and not missing alarms it's exhausting. And I am tired.I have not stopped in a while and maybe I will, at some point. Take a break. walk away. Put my work down but I do not have time right now, I finally cleaned my living room tonight and did a load of dishes in the dishwasher. That is the most cleaning I have done in days, maybe weeks. Because I have spent the rest of the time on homework.
I am ready for a change, I realize that it has been a few months but I have to say that I am ready for things to start changing. I am ready for college to be over and to get up and start my career. I am tired of this lonely, desolate, desert. Can I leave and begin the next part of my life now? Please?
Alright, that is enough for now, have a smiley face.
:)
ciao 4 now,
Arwen
I was checking my blog for comments and realized that I never replied to one you wrote in 2013! I had posted an article by William MacDonald about not wasting your life. I just wanted to let you know that I did not write that article. I do not want to take credit for someone else's work.
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you in this season of life. I remember how busy college was. You must be taking summer classes. I know the Lord can give you strength to keep going. I have been experiencing some "wilderness" times this summer too. I am just glad that the Lord knows what is best for each of us. :)
May the Lord bless you.